hurts
12:17 p.m. | Wednesday, Apr. 26, 2006

i'm an idiot. i really should have seen this coming. at christmas, this man, after a few days of silence from me (i was at my parents house doing the stupid family thing), he had decided that i didn't care about him anymore. based on that, and that alone, he had some chick fly out from west coast so he could have sex with her. that should have tipped me off. he's very insecure, and i can't deal wtih that. i don't WANT to deal with that. overall, i know that he and i are NOT good for each other and that we're not meant to be. but godDAMN does it hurt to have someone who had, up until recently pledged their undying love for you, just turn around LIKE THAT! and find someone new! she's a lot younger than me, and he and i already had sixteen years between our ages. they have like twenty three years between them!! if that's what makes him happy, then that's what makes him happy there isn't much i can do about it. i KNOW we wouldn't have been happy together, so i'm going to try to just get over this.

but just so everyone knows, it hurts. and i wish it wouldn't.